Wife of Journey Keyboardist Commands ‘Angels’ to Help Trump Win

Remember the “satanic pregnancies” lady? The preacher who ordered all satanic pregnancies to be miscarried in the name of the lord? Turns out she’s also the wife of Journey keyboardist Jonathan Cain, and from her altar, she’s now summoned angelic spirits from Africa and South America to help Donald Trump win the 2020 election.

Paula White-Cain is President Trump’s spiritual advisor and a popular televangelist. She’s also been the source of controversy for promising “supernatural protection” against COVID-19, was labeled a heretic by fellow preachers, and has been memed to hell throughout the Trump administration.

As the 2020 election hangs in the balance of a relatively small number of votes across multiple states, White-Cain ad-libbed her own song while preaching onstage, speaking in tongues and commanding angels to sway the election in Trump’s favor:

She also called to “break every demonic confederacy” working against the 2020 election in the various states which are currently too close to call.

Hilariously, one Twitter user set her speech to “Without Me” by Eminem:

Now, we command any angels or demonic confederacies out there to set Paula’s speech to Meshuggah’s “Bleed.”

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Author: showrunner